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Do What You Want+ Get Paid For It

Why saying SORRY for running your business is BULLSHIT AKA Yep, I might send 2 emails this week

March 29, 2012

in: Inspiration

Maybe it is this CRAZY heartbreaking week but I felt the need to stop and talk (rant) about the bullshit of sorry.

I woke up to a newsletter from a friend about a new experience she was creating. I was excited for her but I noticed something at the top of the email. She  actually apologized for writing the email before she even started the message.  She was sorry for sending another email this week.
I thought about a decision I made yesterday.

I wanted to send an email to my list to tell them I had two spots left in HBA. But I was scared. I wanted to tell them I was sorry for sending them more than one email in a week but I really wanted them to know about the class. I felt like I was being sketchy. I was trying to think about how to word it. It was a huge mess in my head.


And this isn't the first time that is happened. I also have conversations with my friends about it ALL the time. We are all scared.


People always talk about the fickle nature of a subscriber. How they unsubscribe when they get too many emails, feel super sold to or blah blah blah. SO MANY RULES.


But that isn’t the only thing. People don’t like the way others tweet. They don’t like ads. They don’t like this or that. SO many opinions.


I had a 15 minute call a couple of weeks ago with a woman who said “you were trying to make a sale, I didn’t like that.” This was after the call when 10 minutes over and I had been giving her advice on what to write for the next couple of months and mentioned HBA would help her. I apologized.


Business owners are ALWAYS APOLOGIZING.

But now, as I think about it, BULLSHIT.

My good friend Dyana Valentine is always telling us to stop being sorry for the stuff we aren’t really sorry for and I haven’t taken it to heart until now. Because I never thought I was apologizing but I do – all the time. I apologize for sending to emails. Secretly, I apologize for having the price where it is. I apologize for not posting when I “should.” I silently apologize to unsubscribers who don’t like Ryan Gosling or something else I said.


But why? I put SO much work into EVERYTHING I do. I give free brand reviews. I talk on the phone with people all the time because I love helping people and I put a LOT of love and care into my blog posts. I make myself available and I DO CARE. And that woman?

HBA WOULD have helped her.




HBA is my proudest achievement. I feel SO much joy when I do the class. So why should I be made to feel guilty about telling people there are 2 spots left? If someone unsubsribes or complains, SO WHAT? They weren’t going to buy from me anyway.


This is my business.


It is MY business and my friend who sent that email, it is her business too. I don’t have a day job. This is how I support myself.


We can't keep apologizing for working.


And YES. We are here to give people amazing value and we should be our most authentic self but why  are we trained hate on people who are trying to make a living doing what they love? Why do we expect to get EVERYTHING for free and feel offended when someone actually asks us to help support them?


So, what is my point? Don’t be sorry for doing what you need to do to be a business. Don’t be shamed. Don’t feel guilty. Don’t feel like you have to apologize.

If you are doing what you love, you are doing the world a great service and you DESERVE to get paid.

Don’t let anyone tell you differently.

And YES, SEND THAT EMAIL for that product you have. YOU WORKED YOUR BUTT OFF. The right person will see it and say YES.  HELL YES.

But we will never know if we are always afraid to ask!


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18 responses on “Why saying SORRY for running your business is BULLSHIT AKA Yep, I might send 2 emails this week

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  • KOKEdit says:

    Bravo! I’ve adding a link to this post to the “Business Tools” page of my Copyeditors’ Knowledge Base: http://www.kokedit.com/ckb_3.php

  • blah_cubed says:

    I’ll be sending an email to subscribers this weekend and have already tried to space the timing right–that would be 2 blog posts and one announcement.  “Is 3 too much?”  “Even if the announcement is to benefit subscribers?”  Screw it.  I can’t beat myself up for trying to pay my mortgage.  And gas is freakin’ high, dude!  Not saying I’m in it for the money (because that isn’t the case at all) but there comes a point where *gasp* you’re going to have to pay for something.  Like, something that just might help your business explode.
    No, we shouldn’t be sorry.  My bank isn’t sorry every time it charges me a maintenance fee.  And neither is any other establishment.
    Send your emails, girl!

    • heyshenee says:

       @blah_cubed Girl, yes. I think sometimes we forget that our businesses aren’t just for helping everyone else, they are for helping ourselves. We are in it to make a difference on our terms and that takes money. Straight up. Send as many emails as you need girlfriend.

  • WrightBrains says:

    This was just what I needed to read. I sent my first mailshots this week from Mailchimp and took it really personally when people unsubscribed. Like you, I was incredibly nervous about sending the second one – but I was excited. I’d just launched a business and then a book group. I wanted people to join in. Wonderful words. Thanks for sharing and giving us all the confidence to happily hit that send button!

    • heyshenee says:

       @WrightBrains Yes, we want people to join! Email is the form of communication they have opted into and we just have to always keep in mind that the right people WILL stick around. 

  • LOVE LOVE this Shenee. So true. I spent a lot of time apologizing (or not actually hitting ‘send’) because I was worried people would be upset. 
    If people are upset because I let them know about something valuable, then so be it – they were never the right fit for my business anyway. I give my audience as much value as I can – and then when it comes time to make an offer, I’m going to be damn sure they know about it. And I’m ok with that. 
    Thanks for saying it out loud – you’re right. It’s time to stop apologizing! 

    • heyshenee says:

       @Steph_Pollock Yes Steph! It is totally true! We never want to come off as offensive but our businesses DO require that we contact people and try to sell the things!!! And we totally should! :) We work our butts off! And like you said, the people who get mad — they probably wouldn’t buy from you anyway, ya know? :)

  • Sandra D says:

    I’m sorry, but I like what you said and agree with it! ; )

  • Applejax1916 says:

    This is an excellent post. Thank you!

  • Awesomeness, right there! Thank you for this. I’m sick of hearing the things I ‘should’ be doing if I want to run a business doing what I love. There are so many rules. But if we do things our way, at least we know the right people are going to be interested.

    • heyshenee says:

       @rebeccalhunter Yes! Love what you said. “The right people will find us.” YES! Totally! :) That is what I am always telling myself now. The right people WILL find me. And you too! Fantastic Rebecca! And thanks for featuring me on the blog. 

  • mamasbestfriend says:

    Oh my gosh, this is so perfect. I feel this way all.the.time. In fact, I am in the process of a giveaway on my blog to bribe people to sign up for my list, so I can feel guilty about sending them emails for stuff that is a HUGE benefit to them!! Fwiw, I think you’re awesome, and I love getting your emails :) Thanks for the confidence boost!

    • heyshenee says:

       @mamasbestfriend YES. Isn’t it insanity how that works?!? Sometimes we just have to let ourselves “be” you know?  You are doing GREAT, lady!  Just keep going! 

  • Rebecca says:

    I. LOVE. this. so. much. THANK YOU!

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