First off, I wanted to say THANK YOU to everyone who reads this blog. Honestly, I didn’t know. I am not a anaylitics person and comments aren’t super common on my blog so I had no idea how many of you were actually reading. I actually got the opprotunity to meet 50ish of you this weekend at WDS. I literally went back to my airbnb and cried because I was so taken aback by hearing all of the great stories about what you have learned and what this blog has helped you accomplished. SO MUCH love to you. I do what I do because I am obsessed with my work and I am glad that it’s getting out there.

Ok, back to regularly scheduled programing.

So, I am going to give you my fool-proof trick for introducing yourself to people, EVEN if you don’t have a fancy cocktail line yet. Take some notes, my friend.

As we know, that dreaded question: “What do you do?” is difficult when you don’t have clarity about it yet ( oh, there is a class for that, yo).  We don’t always have the luxury of being clear when we meet new people and we can’t always wait for it either. Sometimes we just gotta get out there and find it.

This little method is SO easy that you won’ t even believe it.

Ready?

Ask them what THEY do first.

So, for example: you are at a networking event with other small businesses and you meet Jane. Jane says she owns a house cleaning service for residential buildings.

Let’s pretend you work with women who are going through big transitions in their lives. ( A litle vague but we aren’t crystal clear yet, right?)

Once she tells you what she does, you use that information to introduce yourself. Instead of telling her what you do, you’ll show her.

Example of what you could say:

“Ok, say that your business is going really well but you are REALLY ready to make the transition to big office complexes. I would help you first get your mindset right for this big leap AND give you the tools and resources you need to get there.

BOOM. Jane totally gets that! It’s about HER, after all!

Jane will be so freakin’ impressed that she will ask to learn more and a conversation that might have been open and shut becomes a potential sale. That’s networking.

Why this works:

People LOVE to talk about themselves and if you let them go first, you’ll be able to use what other info they get as material for your introduction.

Not only are you telling them what you do but you are also giving them information about how you can help them. This is ALSO a great tool for getting clarity. 10 minute conversations with people are a great way to truly KNOW what your people need and why. Follow up by asking questions about what they do.

You are also giving yourself the opportunity to work beyond the typical cocktail line and really talk about what you do in a more meaningful way. It’s all about service.

Try to go to network events where you KNOW you will meet potential clients. That makes this method even MORE effective.

Try it with me for practice:

Hi. I’m Shenee and I am a brand engagement expert. I help entrepreneurs build unforgettable brands online through classes and 1-on-1 work.

Now, what do you do? How could you help me?

And don’t forget, I released my first e-book. Check it out here.  

The free e-book is dead.

That’s right.

Light a candle. Say a prayer. Say goodbye.

Let’s talk about the lifespan of the free e-book shall we?

You download it. You skip through a few pages and then it dies a HORRIBLE death on your hard drive. Womp. Womp.

You get an email from the freebie writer and it’s something you don’t need. You unsubscribe.

That free e-book? It is still on your computer. Ignored. Neglected. No love.

Here is the thing: a free e-book can get people on your list. Yep, it IS a good list-building tool. But once they get there, will they stay? Not necessarily.

Do you need a million people on your list? Not really.

It’s really time to restructure the conversation around “list building.”

Your list isn’t just a way to collect people. It’s a gathering place for future clients. It’s a place for you to form relationships with the people who NEED what you have. If your list isn’t serving that purpose, you might as well NOT have one.

It is important that as business owners we are always thinking about the TRUTH of what our business needs. Not what we SHOULD be doing. Not the things you SHOULD have.

I know SEVERAL people with huge lists and next to no money. Big lists do NOT equal more money. And do you know WHY they have big lists with no money? Because none of the people on their lists plan on buying from them anytime soon. They just wanted that free report, yo.

And free e-books are no longer a proper incentive for people to sign up for your list because EVERYONE has them. We don’t have the “OH FUN, free e-book” feeling. We have the “Oh, another free e-book. Guess I’ll download it.”

And that doesn’t help anyone.

it’s time to change our strategy.

How can we get high-quality prospects on our list who will ACTUALLY become clients some day?

The 5 dollar gift + the challenge

Instead of “sign up and get a free e-book”  how about:

sign up to get _____ for the price of an extra value meal (save the calories, feed yo’ biz)

In fact, my opt-in will be changing to say this:

Sign up to go from 0 to Brand Clarity in 5 Days AND

Get access to A Field Guide to Bangin’ Bios ( $35 value)

for the price of a cup of coffee

People who are interested will sign up, get the 5 day challenge and get a coupon code to get the book for a lower price.

Why? Because if people PAY for it, they feel like they more obligated to read it AND they have already made the investment in you and themselves. $5 is just the right enough money to feel like you are paying but not paying a lot. You can even up the price to $10. Easy buy and they will DEFINITELY read it.  We value what we pay good money to get. 

The use of a mini digital course  or “challenge” works really well because it’s interactive and it’s a built-in velvet rope policy. You’ll be all up in your potential customer’s inbox for 5 days.   If they don’t like hearing from you that much, guess what?

They shouldn’t be on your list. And they weren’t gonna buy from you anyway. Could you imagine if your favorite business coach emailed more than once a week? You would LOVE it, right?

And if your little challenge is REALLY good, they’ll take you up on that 5 dollar e-book offer and any other service offering you provide.

And the best thing about doing things this way? You can make MONEY right now. And you KNOW I LOVE that.

Your list WILL grow more slowly but everyone on it will want to be there  because they have already put in the work, they trust that you do great work and they will be excited to learn more. And that is a powerful thing.

So, in review:

1. The free e-book will get people on your list but there is no guarantee that those people will subscribe OR buy from you again in the future.
2. The $5 Gift is a GREAT way to get the right people on your list AND make sure that your work doesn’t end up on the hard drive graveyard.
3. The Interactive Opt-In/ 5 day challenge  is the perfect velvet rope policy for your list
4. The goal is to have a group of people on your list who WANT to learn more from you and eventually plan to buy your products and services.

How can you utilize the $5 gift to create a high-quality list?  Do you think the e-book is dead? Post some of your ideas here!

If you want to learn how YOU can create a interactive opt-in that will attract your perfect people  AND learn how Yoda makes sure he is only keeping the right Jedis on his list, pick up my new book!

It’s my super actionable short and sweet guide for creating killer newsletters that act as playgrounds for your potential customers. Don’t talk at your people. Learn how to start having conversations. It even doubles as a drinking game. Learn more here  or

In my new book, I write a short section about the strategy behind subject lines in emails. Yes, there are so many different things we COULD do to make our subject lines convert better, but is that something we really want to spend a lot of time on? Is that something that deserves lots of attention?

There are so many rules. SO many things that could help us convert more, sell more and do better. It’s so tempting to do it all and hope for at least some of the results.

But if we spend all of our time “improving” where does that leave us? Do we spend entire afternoons endlessly tweaking our copy or optimizing blog posts?

There are blogs devoted to giving us advice that will make us better but what advice should we actually follow?

First off, let me say this:

If we devote our time to running our business and being of service to the world, we don’t have to rely so much on advice, tactics or strategies to get us further faster. The work speaks for itself.

I repeat: The work speaks for itself.

So, are you working?

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Right now, Hey Shenee is all about showing up online. This week is all about taking bomb photographs but I want to talk about another  price we pay for deciding to show up as our true selves online.

How do we deal with haters?

I am not sure what your life  is like my friend. I would hope that you are feeling FULLY supported and that you know how awesome you are but sometimes, it just doesn’t work that way, right?

Sometimes people just don’t like the way we show up in the world and will want to tell us about it.

Some advice is great. I drop typos like it is MY JOB. I have no idea why god made me a great writer and a terrible speller, but i’ll take it. I appreciate every polite “girl, you got a typo — GO GET IT” that I get.

As you come up in the world and things start happening for you (you get noticed, you start making money), that advice might come with a little edge.

Trust me, I NEVER thought this would be something I needed to deal with but it happens.

It is the price for being awesome.

I mean, Kanye West talks about it ALL the time.

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I talk about this a lot but I have never given you ways that you can start doing this right now. Sure “stop idolizing and do your work” is great in theory but how does it actually work? What does it look like? I am great at this but it didn’t happen overnight. I still have moments when I struggle with too. It is my hope that these tips will help whenever you are spending too much time on someone ease’s site, trying to figure out why THEY can do it and you can’t.

1. Talk it out

What do you love so much about what that person is doing? What are they doing that you aren’t doing yet and how can you define your own version of what this looks like for you? Do you need to hire someone? Need to stop doing something? It is always a great idea to pay attention to what you like in others and why.

Our jealousies (and obsessive idolizing) are often the hopes and dreams we are afraid to pursue on our own.

2. Treat Yo Self

Most likely, you have done something awesome. Make sure you have acknowledged it. Create rituals around your achievement. Landed a client? Buy yourself a new notebook and some fresh pens. Put on your first webinar and loved it? Invest in a paid webinar software. Make it through a tough day? Get some frozen yogurt. When we recognize our achievements, we propel ourselves forward and have less time to think about what everyone else is doing.

3.  Spend some time thinking about that dream project and start creating a plan

Want to write a book someday? Spend an hour writing your outline. Want to put on a class? Start figuring out what you hope to start teaching people. This is the quickest way to get rid of a case of the jealousies. Spend some time rockin’ your own business and preaching the gospel of your own unique (and awesome) point-of-view. Really get into it and somewhere along the way, you’ll forget that you were obsessing over someone else and you’ll be excited about what you have to say

Spend time with your hopes and dreams and the love will start flowing.

4. Send an email to someone who already loves you and offer your help

It is REALLY easy to idolize other people because they are “famous.” I used to fall into this trap all the time. There are a few people out there that have bigger followings and every once in a while, I stop loving my business because they APPEAR to be more successful. Whenever I feel this way, I try to find someone who I KNOW appreciates the work I do and offer to do a 15 minute session with them. This gives me an instant boast and not only helps them with what they need but gives me the opportunity to see –in action – what makes me special. Plus – you guys know that huge followings don’t matter, right? I am proof!
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This is your permission slip to let go of what’s not working. This is my love letter to you to stop – as soon as possible – doing the things that don’t light you up like they should. In fact, let’s ban “should” from our vocabulary and embrace the power of choice.

Hey, you have a choice and so do I. We (yeah, you and me. We are totally in this together) can totally stop doing the things that people always ask us for because we just don’t want to do it  anymore. We can change the way we approach our businesses and our lives and accept the fact that the way we are rockin’ isn’t working for us.

Here is the thing: you and I? We are the supreme rulers of our own universe and it i time to start acting like it . Either people can get with the program or get out.

We can know — like, TRULY know that we don’t have to do the things we are just plain good at. We should be doing the things make us want to be great. We should be devoting our lives things we want to be known for.

We can burn the blueprints and stop following in footsteps on a path that wasn’t even our own to begin with.

We can accept the challenge of taking the road less traveled because we know that ultimately, it will make us happier. We will let money be a factor but not the decision maker in our joy.

We can embrace what we TRULY enjoy the most and have faith that our desires with feed us way more than the old way could.

And when someone asks us why we don’t do things the old way or why we don’t offer this service, or work that job or do that class or teach that workshop anymore, we won’t make excuses and we won’t try to explain ourselves.

Because we don’t have to.

By letting go of what we don’t absolutely LOVE and adore, we can make space for the things we DO love to do.

We just gotta trust.

This is my message for you to come out as the person you truly want to be.

Ryan Gosling will love you anyway.

Let’s make this the week for being ruthlessly decisive. Let’s take a GOOD look at our businesses and decide what we TRULY want to spend our time doing and what we don’t want to do anymore. I know I will.

My idea: go through your business and start getting rid of the stuff you no longer want to do. Gotta be ruthless.

I moved to Austin this past March. I don’t have a car here so I get around exclusively via the bus system. When I first got here I was obsessed with looking up directions on google maps. I had to know where I was going before I did anything. Why? Because I didn’t want to get lost and google knew the way. Google was my key to the city. I didn’t do anything without it.

I had my ritual. I looked up the address. I pulled it up on my phone and THEN I got on the bus.

As the weeks went by, I started to realize that google maps didn’t always make life easy for me. Google would make me take buses when I could easily walk. Google made me walk when I should be on a bus but I still trusted google maps to show me the way.

One day, it was literally 5,778° K outside. I know what you are thinking. “Shenee, isn’t that the temperature of the sun?” Yep, I thought it was a little weird too.

I am waiting at a stop, getting ready to get on the bus that google told me to get on. The 3. My bus. And I waited. And waited. I saw another bus, the 5, one that I didn’t know very much about but recognized driving around where I was going.

BUT GOOGLE DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT the 5.

The bus stopped in front of me and I stared at it for a while, not knowing what to do. I consulted google. No signal.  Would this bus take me where I needed to go? I hesitated. I searched the bus driver’s face for answers and he just chewed his gum. I was holding up the line. My thoughts were interrupted by a homeless person nearby:

“Just get on the damn bus!”

He was right. I should just get on the damn bus. So I did.

And it was fine. You know where the bus dropped me off? 3 blocks from where I needed to be. I got off somewhere I recognized and got instructions from a friendly hipster.

So what is the point of this story?

Just get on the damn bus.

You know what I am talking about right? That post you have been stalling on. That product you don’t think you are ready to release. That BIG thing you need to do that you think you need permission for?

Just do it. You go a little out of your way? You can always get help finding your way back.

You know that moment  when you take that leap, do that thing, say what you want to say?

You can do that on your own. You don’t need google (or anyone else) to help you.

And if you are reliant on someone else to get you there, you might not get there the way you want, you will proboly get where they want you to go. I have met SO many women who have let themselves get trapped in a corner because they keep waiting for the right time or the right advice.  This is a cop-out. Take responsibility for your business and take ownership of what you do.

Business is NOT about what you know. It isn’t a learning game. It is an intuition game.

The people who make it don’t invest the most, they DO the most. 

I now trust myself more than I trust Google Maps. GM makes suggestions but I make the decisions.

I heard a quote by Lady Gaga that says it all.

“Look to yourself for the answer — stop calling your girlfriends and stop calling your mom– you know if it’s working or not, you either feel like a goddess or you don’t” — Lady Gaga

I would add something to it:

You KNOW you are ready to make it happen and if you are waiting to get the permission to do it, you will NEVER get it.

Click to Tweet 

HBA? A total “get on the bus” moment. If you would have asked any marketing expert, I wasn’t ready to run a class. I don’t have thousands of followers. I haven’t been in business for a long time.  I don’t have any connections. I just did it and here we are 4 months later for round 3 of the class. I have almost 40 HBA graduates and I am looking forward to working with more.

And yes, I have totally gotten on the bus and ended up in the middle of nowhere. But that’s ok too. I got some good help and got back on.

What bus are you going to get on this week without permission from anyone else?

HBA is on and poppin’ ya’ll. Ryan is ready for you to join the class. HBA is my greatest joy and proudest achievement and I would love for you to join the class. Ryan does too! Click on him to learn more about the class.

According to Kanye West, a Gold Digger only gives it up to people with money.

Most entrepreneurs are Gold Diggers. They only give up the goods to people  they think will pay for it.

The rest? They just get to watch. Just blog posts for you guys. Here is a tweet to hold you over.

Launch = Gold Digger Christmas. It’s like putting a Gold Digger in a room full of NFL draft picks. She is gonna throw down. She is gonna do a split. She wants the money, honey!

When you launch, you are extra awesome to everyone. You answer more questions. You give more stuff for free. For some of you, this might be the first time you have emailed your list in months. Now,  that’s a Gold Digger, ya’ll.

“Look! I can do a backflip! Here is my opinion about this big thing I have never talked about before! Take this TOTALLY FREE RESOURCE just for you, just for now.”

“You are totally gonna buy my thing right?”

And when it is over?

Nothing. The Gold Digger  puts on her track pants and buys a car with the money she got. The Gold Digger is also EXHAUSTED. She doesn’t have energy for anything but wine and shopping.

And that is probably how you feel after a launch, right? TIRED.  You  might stop communicating with your people because you have simply run out of stuff to say. That’s natural. You put your ALL into this one big thing.

Here is the deal: we don’t want to be Gold Diggers.  We want to be busting out our best stuff on the regular. As Danielle LaPorte always says, “there is ALWAYS more where that came from.”

Do awesome stuff all the time.  Be exciting right now.  You don’t have to always do backflips or splits ALL the time but get  in the habit of making people excited to hear from you all the time, not just when you decide to launch.

You aren’t just a  Gold Digger. You are a trusted source of awesome. You won’t HAVE to launch.

“Look at her. She does backflips every freakin’ month. What are her services? I want some of that!”

And it doesn’t have to be anything crazy.

Do a webinar. Create a mini blog series. Offer free 15 minute sessions. Do a Q&A on twitter. Just do something.

Don’t reserve all your best ideas for launch time. Be a non-stop party.  People will love you for it.  Tweet This. 

What is the one thing you can do right now? Are you guilty of being a Gold Digger?

Some tweetables:

Are you unintentionally being a Gold Digger?  http://bit.ly/IjEqv2

I ain’t saying you a  Gold Digger, but I only hear from you during  launch time.   http://bit.ly/IjEqv2

And just for fun:

Like this post? Please spread the word!

Why is there so much out there about growing your list and nothing about loving it?

If someone has already said “yes” to you, what is the next step?

Let me pause for a second to give you my opinion on lists.

I have always believed that having an engaged list is ALWAYS better than having a huge list. Think of all the lists you are on for people you will probably never buy from. A big list does not always equal more sales. Think about the people you DO buy from.

I imagine it is someone you really like and respect, right?

That is why it is so important to be good to the list/followers/likes you already have.

Here are some ways to love your list right now.

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Maybe it is this CRAZY heartbreaking week but I felt the need to stop and talk (rant) about the bullshit of sorry.

I woke up to a newsletter from a friend about a new experience she was creating. I was excited for her but I noticed something at the top of the email. She  actually apologized for writing the email before she even started the message.  She was sorry for sending another email this week.

I thought about a decision I made yesterday.

I wanted to send an email to my list to tell them I had two spots left in HBA. But I was scared. I wanted to tell them I was sorry for sending them more than one email in a week but I really wanted them to know about the class. I felt like I was being sketchy. I was trying to think about how to word it. It was a huge mess in my head.

And this isn’t the first time that is happened. I also have conversations with my friends about it ALL the time. We are all scared.

People always talk about the fickle nature of a subscriber. How they unsubscribe when they get too many emails, feel super sold to or blah blah blah. SO MANY RULES.

But that isn’t the only thing. People don’t like the way others tweet. They don’t like ads. They don’t like this or that. SO many opinions.

I had a 15 minute call a couple of weeks ago with a woman who said “you were trying to make a sale, I didn’t like that.” This was after the call when 10 minutes over and I had been giving her advice on what to write for the next couple of months and mentioned HBA would help her. I apologized.

Business owners are ALWAYS APOLOGIZING.

But now, as I think about it, BULLSHIT.

My good friend Dyana Valentine is always telling us to stop being sorry for the stuff we aren’t really sorry for and I haven’t taken it to heart until now. Because I never thought I was apologizing but I do – all the time. I apologize for sending to emails. Secretly, I apologize for having the price where it is. I apologize for not posting when I “should.” I silently apologize to unsubscribers who don’t like Ryan Gosling or something else I said.

But why? I put SO much work into EVERYTHING I do. I give free brand reviews. I talk on the phone with people all the time because I love helping people and I put a LOT of love and care into my blog posts. I make myself available and I DO CARE. And that woman?

HBA WOULD have helped her.

And Ryan? LOOK AT THIS FACE:

HBA is my proudest achievement. I feel SO much joy when I do the class. So why should I be made to feel guilty about telling people there are 2 spots left? If someone unsubsribes or complains, SO WHAT? They weren’t going to buy from me anyway.

This is my business.

It is MY business and my friend who sent that email, it is her business too. I don’t have a day job. This is how I support myself.

We can’t keep apologizing for working.

And YES. We are here to give people amazing value and we should be our most authentic self but why  are we trained hate on people who are trying to make a living doing what they love? Why do we expect to get EVERYTHING for free and feel offended when someone actually asks us to help support them?

So, what is my point? Don’t be sorry for doing what you need to do to be a business. Don’t be shamed. Don’t feel guilty. Don’t feel like you have to apologize.

If you are doing what you love, you are doing the world a great service and you DESERVE to get paid.

Don’t let anyone tell you differently.

And YES, SEND THAT EMAIL for that product you have. YOU WORKED YOUR BUTT OFF. The right person will see it and say YES.  HELL YES.

But we will never know if we are always afraid to ask!