How To Avoid Bad Clients + Inbox Fear — A Mini Guide
When we first start our business, it is common to just focus on making the sale, filling the seats or hustling our hearts out but here’s the thing: we don’t want to sell our stuff to everyone. My coach Erika always talks about treating your business like a lady. Most of the time, that is a really hard thing to do. When you are feeling like you just need the money, need the recognition, need the work, “no” is the last thing on your mind to say.
I have totally been there. Desperate? Yep. Scarcity? I felt it.
Bad clients? I had them.
I also have had clients so BAD that I would avoid my inbox for hours because I was afraid I would have something from them in my inbox.
Yikes.
I could tell you so many stories, my friend.
Here is a little checklist to go through BEFORE you ask for the money so that you avoid bad clients and keep your peace of mind.
1. Don’t launch/sell out of desperation, scarcity or FEAR
This is when BAD decisions happen. It sounds like a good idea to launch when you “need” the money but it isn’t. TRUST ME. Before you decide to sell something, make sure that you are coming from that place of “hey, this shiz is good and I want to put it out there because I TRULY believe it will change lives.”
Here is the thing: if you are constantly feeling desperate, afraid and stressed out about your business, you need to really think about your options. Stay at your day job a little longer. Get some part-time work. It is IMPOSSIBLE to run your business if you are in a shitty state of mind all of the time. This feeling also makes it VERY difficult to say no when you need to.
And getting a day job isn’t a bad thing. I can’t tell you how much I would have liked the security of a paycheck when I was doing my thing.
2. Make sure the person passes the “go out for a drink” test + LOOK OUT for warning signs
This is SO important. You know that feeling in your stomach? The one you get when you know you are talking to someone who is going to give you a hard time? TRUST THAT. Don’t brush it off or push through it.
It is up to you to be in integrity and take a stand when it just isn’t a good fit. If you don’t think you could stand hanging out with them in real life, they should NOT be giving you money.
This is something I am still learning about but here are some warning signs to look for:
- You don’t even like answering their emails ASKING about your product/service/thing. You know what I am talking about, right? You feel your eye twitch or your stomach turn when that name shows up in your inbox
- They ask for customization right out the gate.
Key words to listen for: “can you make an exception?” “I don’t really work well in groups/1-on-1 so can I do this….”
Other stuff to look out for:
- Unwillingness to do their part or take initiative
- Excuses, excuses, excuses
- The email 3-4 times a day
- They need to be sold. HARDCORE. Like 7-8 conversations before they commit.
Some people won’t agree with me on this but if someone hangs out in “maybe” too long shut that shiz down, yo. This is a sign that someone is going to suck you dry. My best clients are ready. They know the course is a good fit and they respect it for what it is and isn’t. Saying “no” to a maybe doesn’t mean that you’ll never work with that person. I have found that most of my “maybe” people come back when they are ready.
3. Make sure you are clear about expectations and get everything down on paper
THIS IS HUGE. You might think you don’t need contracts or agreements but you DO. The digital space makes it EXTREMELY easy for people to not pay you or to back out of agreements without any consequence. Make sure that your clients know what to expect and agree to it.
If you get 1 thing from the post, I want it to be this:
4. If it feels like you should say no, SAY NO
I love money. Who doesn’t? But you don’t want “no” money. I have never been in a situation where I decided to do something that I originally said no to and was like “yeah, this was awesome.”
Most of the time, I am like:
I wish I could just give this money back
5. Honor your boundaries
Make sure people know how much access they get and make it EXTREMELY clear what that means and what it looks like. People like boundaries because it not only lets people that you respect yourself and that you take your work seriously.
I know what you are thinking: Shenee, why do you have to be such a bummer? I can’t even get anyone pay attention to me, I am not going to turn away anyone. Shenee, you are overreacting.
People are fundamentally good but also by nature extremely selfish. Good people can become bad clients because they want to make sure their needs are being met.
I am not usually a quote person but there is one quote that guides everything I do:
“We teach people how to treat us.”
Ask yourself this: how are you teaching people how to treat you?
I want to hear from you! Do you have bad clients? Do you have tips for dealing with them? After reading this, how do you plan to change the way you talk to your clients?
“We teach people how to treat us.”
YES. Word!
Andy Hayes recently posted… Clever Versus Clear
Shenee, 100% right on! I have also learned these lessons the hard way, through pain, angst and tears. It takes a lot to send away a “not for me” client, but when I do, I trust it is best for both me and THEM! Who wants a coach that’s not 100% behind them? That’s not good biz either. When turning down work, I also don’t make it about either me or them – I tend to phrase it like “I’m not sure we’d make a good pair” or “I’ve got someone else in mind who I think might fit better for you” and find a resource for them so that I am still serving them and leaving a good vibe even if I’m not their gal. Thanks for writing on this topic – very important!
Hanna recently posted… Are you leading from the rear view mirror?
Ah dude. One thing for me has been that I’m slow to see there’s a demographic of baby boomer blokes that it never works out with. But then why have I persisted with them so much? Next time, I’m sure to say no. And i’ve def made mistakes of not getting it on paper. Never again. In the end, I’m resentful, we clash and the qualities they loved in the beginning ‘I have this kinda headstrong woman with great business AND creative ideas’ go awol. They’d actively resist making any changes and I just wonder why they’d even want to pay me. I’m far from perfect but I’ve ID’d the pattern, I hope. Men who love rhetoric about innovation and collaboration etc as long as it’s no threat to their 1980s way of doing business and they don’t have to learn new software, but would happily stick you in front of clients as the ants pants, when you know it’s not all happening. At all.
And the emails- red urgent exclamation marks and read receipts? I would squint opening outlook like it was an upcoming horror scene. Way to kill mojo and productivity when you can do no right. Ok, venting over! But seriously- killer post.
So.True. I love this! Especially this line: “I have never been in a situation where I decided to do something that I originally said no to and was like “yeah, this was awesome.”
Most of the time, I am like:
I wish I could just give this money back”
Yup! I need to print this out and wallpaper my office with it!
Zsofi recently posted… “E” is for Energy
This is such a great article – thanks for writing this
If you feel like you should say NO- SAY NO!!
Love this as it reminds me to trust my gut. My gut never lies to me… I just need to remember this!
Thank you for the reminder and for
I’ve had bad clients and I realized self-respect as a professional goes a long way. I would allow my lack of experience – and worse, the belief these people were my friends – to exploit me.
I’m cool now.
Lauryn Doll recently posted… Beauty & The Grind Side Hustles: Make Money Mystery Shopping
Shenee, your voice reaches out the the screen, and grabs the attention I need to give it. I’m listening now, and so glad I am.
So I have a friend who knows I would like to be a coach and would like me to coach her. For barter. But she has no idea what she is offering. And the few exercises I have given her she won’t do. You nailed why I have been reluctant to commit to her. “Unwillingness to do their part or take initiative”…. if I am doing the work by myself then why bother have a client? Clarity on this subject? Awesome!
My “day-job” is various sorts of engineering consultancy, and one thing I have found works is what I cal a “barge-pole quote”: a quotation for a job that puts a monetary value on the length of the pole with which I would touch the job.
Very occasionally (twice) it has happened that such a quote has been accepted. In these cases, the vast amount of money that the client is paying gets their attention, which helps — and the awareness on my part that I am being rewarded handsomely for putting up with this bull helps to motivate me through to the other side!
@Lauryn Doll: That was so my situation.
My spidey senses have since improved to instantly spot “Takers,” as well as forced me to restructure up-front payment agreements.